(Real) Love Conquers All

I suppose there a lot of other things I could be blogging about right now - like Doug Phillips being sued for molesting his children's nanny, or my current perspective on Easter - but tonight I write about love.

I've written some about my first marriage and how IFB shaped my view of love here, here, and here. My first marriage tanked pretty quickly. I had no prior experience with an actual relationship, thought you were supposed to marry your first love, and believed that there would never be another person who would tell me he loved me and wanted to take care of me. I went into the relationship with a very low level of self-worth, which turned into me letting my then-boyfriend-and-eventually-husband push me into things I wasn't comfortable with as well as letting him run me down and treat me like a child (not that children should be treated that way). I had gotten myself into an abusive relationship with a racist, misogynistic, mentally ill guy who believed the world was run by lizard aliens called the Illuminati. Yeah.... He was an expert liar and I was blinded by love, only to be blindsided by the craziness after we were married. After a few months of abuse, an opportunity to get out came, and I chose to leave. As hard as it was at the time, I've never regretted my decision and am so thankful to have my life back. Other ex-fundies have talked about experiences like this and refer to marriages like mine as "starter marriages," because so many ex-fundies lack the real-world knowledge and experience to start in healthy relationships.

When I left my first marriage I was terrified of my ex, had even lower self-esteem than before, and was struggling with depression. Love had betrayed me. Marriage was supposed to be an ultimate goal that, once obtained, meant you were safe for life, but my marriage had dissolved due to things I had never dreamed possible. I lost a lot of things in that relationship, but the experience I gained changed my life for the better. I knew I would never marry someone without living with them first - no more prudish views about what I once considered a pretend marriage. No more promises made about abstaining from sex before marriage - sex was great and even sacred, and it didn't make sense for me to hold back that part of a relationship until after I had married someone. The legality of marriage was huge and scary - something I didn't fully grasp until my name was legally bound with the name of someone else whom I needed to divorce. For awhile I toyed with the idea of never entering into a legally-binding marriage again. A couple's commitment to each other was sufficient for me, so why add the hassle of getting married? What was so important about this marriage thing anyway? Was it outdated and unnecessary? 

This Is What Fundamentalism Looks And Sounds Like

A KJV-only pastor bashing men who don't stand up to pee. Why? Because real men stand up, and God wants you to be a real man. The funny/sad things is, this man could have been any number of men I heard preaching at my school, church, or in other Baptist churches I attended.
His blog can be found here: Steven L. Anderson. His wife blogs at http://stevenandersonfamily.blogspot.com/ . I show the entire link because I think it does a good job of illustrating the way the husband dominates his family. I suppose it could just be because the husband is more famous or something, but after reading through their blogs I sincerely believe they want their identity to be dominated by the husband. This family is very Quiverfull, patriarchal, the whole shebang. The wife, Zsuszanna, is quite passionately devoted to the patriarchal ideals that dominate her world - this is clearly seen in her writing. From what I've gathered she is originally from Germany and was raised as a Catholic. Steven witnessed to her while visiting in Germany when he was eighteen, she eventually converted to Baptist beliefs, and they were married very shortly after that. Baptist fundamentalism appealed to her so she dived right in and marrying a loud-spoken, KJV-only (1611 version, baby!), hyper-conservative guy and the rest is history. They are against voting, against any form of family planning/contraception, and a long list of other things that only make sense in the world of religious fundamentalism.
I'm so glad I left this world before marrying into it and being further entrapped in its hold.

Mississippi High School Forces Fundie Messages on Students

Insanity. Read the story here.
Can I say total disregard for the law? Kidnapping teenagers was one of the stupidest things they could have done. Teenagers have cameras, phones, ipods, and who knows what else. Did they honestly think it wouldn't get out? I suppose that the most likely scenario is that they thought the risk (jail and fines) was worth getting the name of Jesus out to the teenagers. That's sad.

Laughable but Serious

Here's some reading that is scary, serious, hilarious... etc. These sets of belief have some similarities, and remind me of the freaky cults whose members end up drinking "kool-aid."

Scientology: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientology
The teachings of David Icke: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Icke

You'll probably be left wondering, "Who on earth believes this stuff?" The list is surprisingly long and includes many people who could be considered brilliant. Smart people do/believe dumb things. People (especially crackpots) can be extremely persuasive about their ideas. Don't allow yourself to be swept up by such people or their ideas - do your homework, do your homework, do your homework!!!!

A Link and Some Thoughts

For those who repeatedly claim that we weren't true Christians, please read this article.

I was certainly a very active member of Christianity - one who prayed, read my Bible, served at church, and sought to be godly above all else. Nobody questioned my faith or sincerity. No-one. It was very, very real. The points made in that article, particularly on this topic, were excellent. The author also points out that many who preach against people who are different (atheists, homosexuals, etc.) don't really know those people. They know the concept, and they know why it's "sinful," but they have little to no personal experience with those people. For a complacent congregation who also has little to no dealings with the "enemy," the leader's words sound just and righteous, and so the cycle of ignorance continues.
All throughout history, those who blindly followed what they're told were the ones who were led astray into atrocities. Those who asked questions and sought the truth saved themselves and others from the mistakes of ignorance and complacency. Had the Germans questioned Hitler's propaganda and chosen to think freely instead of believing the lies, a lot of people (namely Jews) wouldn't have died such horrific deaths. Had many Catholics chosen to ask questions instead of blindly follow those in authority over them (the Pope), then countless thousands of people would not have died during events such as the Inquisition. The Crusades, the Salem witch trials... just how many people have been killed or hurt by the ignorant followers of impassioned zealots? Such crazy men as Hitler would not have gotten so far without the support and blind belief of other people.
Don't believe everything that you're told, even if it has been culturally accepted for thousands of years. Never stop asking questions. Finding the truth may not be comfortable, and implementing it into your life is certainly uncomfortable, but it is well worth it.