Interview with an Ex-Fundie: Meet Ashlee

Meet Ashlee, a young woman who is an ex-fundie, happily married, and a Christian. Thank you for sharing your story, Ashlee!
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What do you consider your current worldview/religious beliefs to be?

Christian - Having a relationship with God and not the church. Politically, I would consider myself moderate.

How did you become involved with Christian Fundamentalism?

I was born into it. Until I moved out of my parent’s house I had no choice with what I wanted to do. My parent’s controlled everything.

What sort of church(es) did you attend while in fundamentalism?

IFB – very conservative

How did Christian Fundamentalism affect your home life (relationship between parents, relationship between parents and children, relationship between siblings, discipline methods, lifestyle choices, etc.)?

I think it caused tension between my parents and me because I was always afraid of getting in trouble. Being a PK I always had to play the part of being the good Christian girl. I didn’t have the same thinking as my parents. I felt like I couldn’t be true to myself. I felt more like a fraud. Moving out of their house I feel like now I can be authentic. With the control they had over me I couldn’t think for myself. It was either the Bible way or the highway with them.
Was patriarchy (male headship) present in your home, church, or relationships with other people? If so, how did it make you feel at the time? How do you feel about patriarchy now?

My dad was head of the home and also the church, so I got strictness in both the home and church. I do not agree with males feeling like they can dominate the female. Being brought up in the IFB the men teach you that they have control over you. 

What were you taught about sex before marriage or sex in general?

What Does It Mean to be a Buddhist?

I have the good fortune of knowing someone who is Buddhist - not something I ever anticipated when I was still a fundie. Anyway. Ryan was kind enough to answer some questions for me and told me I could quote him here, so I shall. He's done extensive research on Buddhism, so I appreciate his willingness to share his knowledge. My questions will be in italics.

Interview:

There are three main branches of Buddhism. The first, Theravada, is the oldest branch that adheres to the historical Buddha's teachings. The second, Mahayana, includes most other forms of Buddhism: Zen, Pure Land, Nichiren, etc. They adhere to many of the Buddha's teachings but added some deities and new beliefs. The third, Vajrayana, is a form of Mahayana but is often considered a third branch because it's fairly different. It's highly ritualized with lots of deities. The Dalai Lama follows Vajrayana. I'm most interested in Theravada. 

What Does It Mean to be an Athiest?

I initially approached this study with some anxiety. Atheists are often ill spoken of, particularly by fundamentalists, due to how in-your-face they can be about their disregard for all things religious and spiritual. I personally have come across several such atheists in the blogosphere - it's not pleasant. There are even other atheists calling out the unpleasantness (as I discussed here). Not all atheists are unpleasant, though! I've also come across nice atheists, like my friend Erin, who is very respectful and non-judgmental about the beliefs of others. She agreed to discuss her atheistic world view with me so I could share it here.

Interview:

What does atheism mean to you? When did you decide you were an atheist?

To me atheism just means the lack of belief in an intelligent creator. I never actually realized I was an atheist, it just developed over time as a logical conclusion to philosophical questions.

Have you taken any flak for being atheist? 

I have taken flak for being atheist. I was personally attacked by the mother of one of my very close friends who committed suicide. She called me a bad influence and said I wasn't original or unique and was going through a stupid phase. It was probably just brought on by grief and anger but her son was also an atheist and being one of his best friends I knew that. The funeral was an insult to his memory because they pretended he'd been a good Christian his whole life when it was against everything he believed in.

Interview with an Ex-Fundie: Meet Anne

Meet Anne, a Bible-believing Christian who was raised in fundamentalism.

What sort of church(es) did you attend while in fundamentalism? 

It was basically a fundamentalist mega church. It had its own school, and it easily developed into its own culture. (You see the same people six days a week—five days in school and at least once on Sunday. They see all your choices, everything you wear, every word you say.)

Was patriarchy (male headship) present in your home, church, or relationships with other people? If so, how did it make you feel at the time? How do you feel about patriarchy now? 

Fundamentalism has a sickeningly low view of women: Congratulations, you have a womb. I understand that, however much we like to think of equality, this is still very much a man’s world; but I am strongly against fundamentalism’s subpar view of women. Yes, patriarchy was very strong in my church and relationships. It made me feel inferior, which was utterly ridiculous considering the people I was being subjected to. I was an above average student in high school and college, but yet I was supposed to be “under” people whose intellects were inferior to mine. It was very disappointing. I also recall one time in college when I presented a plea to do a fundraiser for a project I was working on, and I got turned down rather unceremoniously. As a last resort, I had a guy in my group go talk to the administration; he got it cleared the first time he asked. Also on a humorous note, I worked in a department during college, and a guest visited our office, which was made up of mostly men. When I walked in, the ultra conservative guest had his back to the door and was going on about how good it was to see an office full of men.

Interview with an Ex-Fundie: Meet Erin

Cartoon provided by Erin

Meet Erin:
Despite a degree in religious studies and office management, Erin is a SEO and online marketing consultant, and married to a future MD.  Together they have two children, one dog, and toys all over the floor most of the time.  She blogs at naturallyerin.com

What do you consider your current worldview/religious beliefs to be?
After much study and consideration, I follow the Jesus of the Bible who taught that love for others is one of the greatest gifts you can offer the world.

How did you become involved with Christian Fundamentalism?
I perhaps have a unique situation in that I was not raised in fundamentalism.  I grew up in a very sincere non-fundamental home attending a Bible / Christian Missionary Alliance Church with my parents.  Growing up in churches like that, it was demonstrated to me that God is good and loving and that He extends grace freely to everyone.  Church attendees, pastors and staff were all equal and on first-name basis with each other.  I never remember thinking that the pastor or anyone else held any higher position than another.

When I was 17, the pastor of the Alliance church we attended left, and due to the influence of close family friends who were members of an IFB* church, my parents were persuaded to visit and later joined their church.