What Does It Mean to be a Buddhist?

I have the good fortune of knowing someone who is Buddhist - not something I ever anticipated when I was still a fundie. Anyway. Ryan was kind enough to answer some questions for me and told me I could quote him here, so I shall. He's done extensive research on Buddhism, so I appreciate his willingness to share his knowledge. My questions will be in italics.

Interview:

There are three main branches of Buddhism. The first, Theravada, is the oldest branch that adheres to the historical Buddha's teachings. The second, Mahayana, includes most other forms of Buddhism: Zen, Pure Land, Nichiren, etc. They adhere to many of the Buddha's teachings but added some deities and new beliefs. The third, Vajrayana, is a form of Mahayana but is often considered a third branch because it's fairly different. It's highly ritualized with lots of deities. The Dalai Lama follows Vajrayana. I'm most interested in Theravada. 

Thoughts on Friendship and Taking Care of Myself

Throughout my lifetime I've had the privilege of making many friends, but not all of those friendships have lasted. Time and distance are the biggest culprits when it comes to friendships drifting apart into aquaintences. There are other culprits I can point to in a select few of those friendships though - pride, selfishness, intolerance, and an inability to grasp reality. Looking back, I can see things that I did or didn't do wrong in my friendships, so I don't put all the blame on the other parties. I do my best to learn from the past and move on, but I don't forget the past entirely - that is impossible. I have a history of getting myself into abnormal relationships with people - the people and my relationship to them are both abnormal many times. I chalk it up to a strong desire to help other people and a willingness to sacrifice myself in the process. I can think of at least five past relationships in which I focused too much on the other person and not enough on myself. Wait, you can focus too much on others and not enough on yourself? Yes, you can. That concept seems foreign to many, and was certainly not something I was taught in my Baptist church or school. "Jesus, Others, You - what a wonderful way to spell JOY!" is what I was taught. The thinking seemed to be that us humans are so selfish we will always take care of ourselves anyway, so keep your focus on God and then other people. Focusing on other people is huge, and we do tend to be selfish, don't get me wrong, but I know very few people who truly take care of themselves. The push is to be active with this charity or that, to give of yourself here there and everywhere... but when do you have time or energy to devote to your own well-being?

Some recent events have shown me that I have been focusing way too much on meeting the needs of other people while putting my own needs aside. I need to take care of me before I can take care of other people. I need to make choices because they are right for me rather than build my life around what other people want/need. If I need to eat something (or not eat something) I need to make that choice and act on it regardless of how inconvenient or unreasonable it is to/for others (I have special diet needs). If I need to stop and regroup, de-stress, do yoga, whatever, then I need to do it and do it for me. I have to make my decisions with my well-being - mental, physical, and spiritual - in mind rather than focusing on what other people say, need, want, etc. Once I am taken care of, then I can better take care of others. Remember what the flight attendant announces at the beginning of each flight? If cabin pressure drops and oxygen masks are needed, be sure to put your own mask on before helping others with their's.